I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
