ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
