I will die if light touches me.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
