he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize