Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
