literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
