i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
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