i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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