i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I deserve this hangover.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
