Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
