You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
