Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Randomize
