new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
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