i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
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