Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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