you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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