I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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