Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize