Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
