ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize