my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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