is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
