Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
You've changed since you got that strap on
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
