Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
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is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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