I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
