We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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