'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
