I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize