What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
