I cannot find my penis.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
