he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Randomize
