Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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