you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
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