Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
My dick has a subreddit
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Randomize
