Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
