So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
