omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
you win again, gameday.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
