i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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