we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
