why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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