I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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