if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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