hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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