I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
