I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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