Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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