I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
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