Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
