you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
