You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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