Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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