He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
