And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I just sucked dick on a ferry
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
