Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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