Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
