She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Randomize
