Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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