worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Randomize
